DISQUS

Tara · 1 year ago

No need for a disclaimer. While you may be venting you are still being insightful and causing good hearted people to think. To do a double check on how they are acting. I think girls, as a whole, can fall into acting like a frienmy too easily.

I think being a frenemy is an inscure persons way of protecting themselves. If they aren't truly friends with any one they can't get hurt. Which just means they are not secure in themselves.

People who are smart, brave, confident, beautiful, kind, and loving [like you!] bring out jealousy and fear in the frenemy. No matter if it's just one quality, all, or a mix of them, some people are just intimidated. The selfish mean comments are just a manifest of that.

Know that there are real people out there who love you for you, who want you to be forever in their sisterhood! The accept you for everything you do. No matter how you feed or dress your kids and proudly fly your freak flag next to their own.

You touch and change people's lives mama. You touched and changed mine. You are forever in my sisterhood. You made me feel comfortable in my own skin. Something my own family never even tried to do. I love you and will forever love you, cherish you, and be here for you always.

You are an amazing person. Don't EVER let yourself forget that.

AdventureInBabywearing · 1 year ago

Clap. Clap. Clap. Clap. I wish you could hear my applause right now, Can't Buy Me Love style.

Steph

Mrs. Fussypants · 1 year ago

ruh-roh, who been talking about my girl?

I'll go smack 'em around.

Velveteen Mind - Megan · 1 year ago

Good grief. Where have you been hanging out in blogland?

It's the comments sections, right? I try to avoid the comments sections. Trouble always lurks in there.

Crap. I'm in the comments section right now! I took a wrong turn near your title. I was trying to click on Lindsey Lohan's boobs. And Fussy is right on top of me. And she's threatening a smack-down.

Comments sections. Here there be monsters.

Carrington · 1 year ago

Oh, your comment section is funny on this one. First, Tara being sappy and sentimental, and then these witty hilarious girls at the bottom, I like this comment section! Great post, SO TRUE. Oh, the good ol' days with "guy friends".

karla ~ looking towards heaven · 1 year ago

I always had male friends in high school. One girlfriend, the rest guys. Couldn't handle anything beyond that.

Wonderfully written!

Blessings,
K

Melanie Notkin · 1 year ago

I understand the idea of Mean Girls. What I don't understand is anyone being mean to YOU! We have never met in person, but you are the first one in our online community to support me, encourage me, and laugh with me. Right back at you, kiddo. And thanks for including the part about "nieces." I try to be a role model for my nieces. But they are so authentically wonderful and nice that I have little to teach them! :-)

Jill · 1 year ago

They seem to congregate at playgroups as well. Can't get away from them, so I just stay on the fray with women I *know* to be true friends. Doesn't leave much to choose from, but at least I know it's real.

jenB · 1 year ago

It is sad to me, from my own personal experiences as well, that this doesn't ever really change as we get older. Sad. hugs to you and me and everyone else who has been meaned.

Karoli · 1 year ago

Well said.

flipflopmamma · 1 year ago

Awesome post!! Hilarious comments! Girls are mean. I'm glad I've got my tribe:)

Destiny · 1 year ago

I so can relate to this post. I've even had people print off my blogs in hard copy and turn it into my boss trying to get me in trouble. I've dealt with emails, mean comments, name smearing blogs that don't technically refer to me, but they so do... Some people will never grow up and will never evolve into a decent human being. And they can just kiss my a$$.

John · 1 year ago

Chicks are drahhhhh-ma...

Mama C-ta · 1 year ago

True indeed, I always wonder why I am such a loner but at the same time it's hard to forget why.

Beth - Total Mom Haircut · 1 year ago

Hmmm...I noticed after becoming a mom that I had total middle school flashbacks. And I did feel when I started blogging that there was definitely a hierarchy going on, not necessarily based on writing but on popularity. Whenever I saw anything negative in a post or in the comments, anything that seemed divisive (PERFECT word choice, by the way) I just clicked away and didn't go back. I'm not sure what sparked this post for you, and you are clearly hurt by something you have read or heard, but try to just click away. We don't need to deal with crap like that. Who has the time? The energy? Just click away.

Mandy · 1 year ago

I moved to Indiana 2 years ago and was asked to join our neighborhood Moms group. They meet every Wednesday for coffee & a playgroup.

I hated it. They just talked smack about those Moms who weren't there that week. And ....I'm being honest....I had a hard time not judging people on their parenting. I figured until I was ready to not judge, I shouldn't attend. It would be too easy to get sucked in to the drama.

Great post.

Jane - Pinks & Blues · 1 year ago

One of the reasons I love blogging so much is that, like Mama C-ta, I am kind of a loner, and it's a chance to be kind of a "non-loner loner," if that makes any sense. But when drama comes into the mix, it's really hard not to just throw in the towel. There IS a reason high school ends, right?

I'm so sorry you had to be involved in or witness a virtual catfight that brought these feelings to the surface for you. As Melanie said, you are such a positive, encouraging influence on our community. I don't understand how anyone could have ANY problem with you EVER!

I was happy to see Steph nominate this post as a Perfect Post for April. It is a truly deserving post.

And you, as always, have approached this subject with the dignity and wisdom that I so appreciate and love about you!

Jane

Jody - Mile High Mommy · 1 year ago

Yeah, I feel your pain. For pretty much the same reasons as you, I've always preferred hangin' with the male species. I have only a couple true, trustyworthy girlfriends. And that's enough for me. I like what John commented...Chicks are Drama! It is so true - and I do my best to keep the drama at bay. One of the biggest reasons I don't find myself part of many (if any) "Mommy groups". It's just high school all over again - but with tots in tow!

You are an amazing woman! It comes through loud and clear in your blog...keep on keepin' on! ;)

Amy · 1 year ago

I think when people type things, they forget all of the feelings involved and how that will be interpreted. I don't know how bloggers do it when they have two hundred comments that tell them that they suck. I can't stand one, but maybe I need a thicker skin.

Girls can be sooo mean- great post!

naomi · 1 year ago

i wasn't popular in high school, and i'm not now...

things like this make me happy about that.

jodifur · 1 year ago

I haven't experienced this first hand but I'm sure it goes on. What I don't understand is why if you don't want to read someone you just don't read them? I don't get it.

AdventureInBabywearing · 1 year ago

I love reading all the comments on this one!

Steph

B · 1 year ago

This post is exactly the reason why I have hesitated to join in to the whole blogging networking thingie. Mean Girls scare the crap out of me and they are everywhere!

Shawn K · 1 year ago

So true. I may be a guy, but the same stuff happens. You confide something, and the next thing you know, the whole town knows, though it doesn't help there's only 300 people here, and EVERYBODY knows EVERYBODY. Great post. :D

Twitter @thattalldude

holli · 1 year ago

I've been in the crosshairs quite frequently for years. I've read a lot of posts on this topic lately - and I think it's interesting many of the same people complaining (I'm not referring to you, this is my first visit to your blog) are the very people who are the absolute worst cybercrapheads. I made a decision about a month ago that I would just rather stand alone than waste one more smiley on someone who wasn't playing nice. I'll give my energy to the good people.

In thirty years, chances are I won't know half of them anyway... except the true friends.

And exactly on being friends with men... it's why I always have been - and it's why I still am. I just thank God I have an understanding husband who trusts me heart and soul. Otherwise I would be screwed.

Excellent post.

xo